I have recently decided to yet again try and put myself out there in the dating world. This includes trying to follow the unwritten rules of dating. I personally think these rules suck and make dating so much harder than it already is. So I thought I would share with you what I think are the unwritten rules of dating and why they suck.
Now, I know what you’re thinking how does a girl as amazing as me not already have a boyfriend? Well, the honest answer is boys suck! It’s actually more that I haven’t met the right person, or at least that’s what I tell myself. Then I hear you say; “we’re in the middle of a pandemic, how are you going to meet anyone?”. The answer here is online dating.
No fairytale here
I know it’s not the most romantic way to meet someone but apparently 1 in 5 couples now meet online. Long gone are the days where you head to a barn dance and meet the love of life that you marry within the year. And let’s be honest while we are in and out (like the Hokey Cokey) of lockdowns and the rules keep changing about social activities. The only realistic way I am going to meet someone is through online dating.
Setting up my dating profile
So this is where the rules begin. Depending on the app that you choose some require just pictures. Some then ask you to set a statement to your photos like guess how many takes this took? And finally some want you to answer little questions which are then meant to be conversation starters.
With pictures you’re thinking oh that’s easy to choose? This is where the rules start first of all you want a couple of solo pictures so it is obvious that it is your profile. But you also need pictures with friends so it looks like you have friends. They also want to be semi recent there’s no point having a picture from ten years ago. You also want your pictures to include your hobbies and interests. While also looking your best but also realistic because you don’t want to be a catfish. For those asking what is Catfishing here is the link to the Wiki definition.
So the statements on the pictures are pretty easy to choose, like if you have a travel picture you can put comment if you’ve been here. The statements on their own, are a different matter. You want to seem like you have a personality but also funny while not being too much. Like on mine it says the dorkiest thing about me is and I have responded with “I like to knit”. This is actually a good conversation starter however it usually starts the conversation like can you knit me… For which the answer is gonna be no but maybe if you look nice I will say maybe one day.
Unwritten rules of dating
I don’t really know why there are these “rules” or who even started them but if you have been in the dating game anytime recently you will 100% know what I am talking about. I have also been thinking about how you learn what the rules are and I honestly I don’t know the answer to that one either.
The waiting game, according to this unwritten rule. You cannot reply instantly to a message or even within a couple of hours. You have got to make it look like you have a life and that you don’t really have time to be replying. I would say that most of my messages I get a reply to within 12 hours but according to one of my friends I should allow up to five days for them to reply. Yes you read that right, FIVE DAYS! I personally reply when I can and if they can’t do the same then maybe they shouldn’t be in the dating scene. You can’t tell me you’re so busy that you can’t find two minutes to reply?
The unwritten rule of tactical responses. Yes you have to think about what you say. This is because we want to say the right thing but is there a wrong or right way to respond? I’ll give you an example. A common question on the apps is what are you looking for on here? So the real answer for everyone on here (cause it’s a dating app) is that they want to meet someone to date. The answer you give or get is “I’m not really sure what I’m looking for.” Why are you on a dating app if you are not looking to find someone?
I dunno if this is a rule but there is the question of how long do you have to chat before you can meet? For me I want to meet you pretty soon after starting to chat otherwise what’s the point. And I have the perfect example of this. I actually matched with a guy back in February and we still talk off and on from time to time. However we have never met, I am starting to think we probably never will. But I still talk to him cause we have quite a bit in common and I think after all this time if we did meet we could be great friends. Yes friends, I think we’re past the point of it being anything more but only time will tell. If we ever meet that is?
Not rules but also suck about dating
The grass is always greener. There are so many options that people don’t know who to pick and unfortunately it is never me ! boo hoo don’t worry there are plenty more fish in the sea. Though this seems to be a thing. For some reason people who are dating think that there is always something better even if they have something pretty good already going?
Ghosting, how is this a thing and why do we accept that this is an acceptable thing to do to someone? It 100% is not ok to ghost someone. You wouldn’t do it to someones face so why do we think it is acceptable to do it on dating apps or social media? Like yes the truth hurts but even just a message that says “its been nice chatting to you but I am not really feeling it” would be better than the cold shoulder.
Dating Sucks or at least for me right now
Overall online dating and me aren’t currently getting along too well. I am not by any means saying it wont work for anyone. As like many people I now know quite a few couples that met on dating apps and are now happily together and some even married. What I am saying is maybe dating apps aren’t for me. Or maybe even when I meet the right person these unwritten rules will go out of the window. At least for now I am not pinning any hopes on anything. And am going to enjoy being on my own and spending time with friends. (If and when we are allowed to with Covid).
Thank you for reading my blog on why the unwritten rules of dating suck. Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss a blog and if you haven’t read some of my other posts please check them out here.